Lanisinoh made my day

Rachel went through the diaper bag a few days ago, scattering this and that all over the living room. Forgotten diapers, toys, extra outfits, and other random items found themselves decorating our floor. Among all of Rachel's paraphernalia was an unopened package of breast pads.

I have finally reached the point where I don't leak a gallon of milk every time Rachel whimpers and have been able to go without breast pads for a few weeks now. Before that I used washable cotton pads, not the disposable kind. But I had received a free sample of Lansinoh disposable breast pads and they got placed in the diaper bag for emergencies. They've been in there for about a year. I'd totally forgotten that I had them.

I remembered when I was cleaning up the living room and found them.

On the box was this little message,

"Good for you! Breastfeeding is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Breastmilk not only enhances your baby's growth and development but provides health benefits for you as well. Lanisinoh realizes that it isn't easy to breastfeed in today's hectic environment. You are giving your child the best possible start in life and you have our respect, encouragement and full support."

I just about cried.

I've been really emotional, what with my little baby reaching that year mark and all. I've been going through her pictures and just crying, wondering if I've taught her everything I should have taught her by now, if I sang enough, if I played enough, if I held her enough.... You know, all the am-I-a-good-mother thoughts.

When I found this box of breast pads I again found myself awash in emotion. I remembered how difficult it was for us to start--we didn't really "get" it until she was at least 3 months old! All the pain, and the tears, and the pain, and the pain, and the frustration, and the pain. I remembered how excited I was the first day she latched on by herself without any problems. I remembered all the fun times we've had just sitting, holding each other, getting to know each other, stroking each other's faces. Oh, and then the biting! Ack, the biting!

I love the bond that nursing has helped Rachel and I make. I love that I "have to" spend time with my baby because she "has to" eat--it means that I always get a turn holding her no matter how many people are there to hold her for me!

I'm not quite sure when I'll be weaning Rachel. After our move to Egypt. Maybe around the time she enters nursery. Maybe beyond that. I don't know.

It's nice to be reassured, though, that I made a good choice to breastfeed. I'm not sure why that little blurb on the back of the box moved me to tears. Perhaps I just happened upon it on a day when I needed a little encouragement myself.