I'm sure I'm not not only one who, at some point, will go through single motherhood whether temporary or permanant. In the six weeks I've been single-momming it, here's what I have learned. Hopefully it will help someone else survive. =)
1) Accept any and all help offered. Being a mom is hard even when you have live-in husband-type help... it get exponentially harder and your "To Do List" will grown infinantly longer without the help. Accept any offered help. Let your neighbor watch your kids so you can have some recharge time. Let your friend bring you a meal. Let your husband's friend mow the lawn.
2) Let it go. Doing it on your own, things get crazy, and you'll go crazy if you try to do everything (without help) all the time. Your kids and your sanity are most important. Let thing of lesser importance go.
3) Get out and talk to adults every day. I work, so thats where I got this one in. If you are lucky enough to a full-time, stay home mom make sure you get out every day and get to talk to someone who can form complete, coherant sentences. Take a walk, get to a play group, call a friend and go to the park... anything to get you adult interaction that you need.
4) Make plans. The lonliness can get intense when you're missing your hubby, even when you've for your cute kids around. Plan some fun activites to do with the kids that you can all look forward to. Having plans will help break up monotony and help the time pass more quickly.
5) When necessary, take a break. If you're overwhelmed, if you're upset, if you need a good cry, put your kid(s) somewhere safe and have it out. Theres no shame in putting your baby in the crib, the pack and play, their room and taking a mommy-moment... even if all they do is scream while you take your moment. Also, if you need some time out on your own, call a friend, ask for a babysitting favor and go to the mall, go see a movie, go get a pedicure. Anything that will make you feel better, recharge your batteries and help you get through tomorrow.
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Is this a joke? The title Surviving Single Motherhood" in no way reflects the article. I googles this topic, in desperate need of advice for the actual 'survival techniques' of mothering 4 children on my own - permanently. Advice from a mother who is temporarily parted from her supportive partner is not practical or useful. I am however, so glad that you have such a wonderful support network of friends and neighbors and obvious financial security for pedicures and the like. The real question is where DO I GO for REAL ADVICE?
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